I decided that by the time I'm 35, I'm going to have the best body I've ever had. I'm going to do this by thinking and acting like my skinny friends. My daughter is out of shape and starting to get chubby. I was embarrassed about her lack of conditioning last night during her soccer game, next to her super athletically driven friend (who is the daughter of our friends - both of them skinny and in shape). My daughter is in the habit of snacking too often, and she craves treats and high-carb, starchy foods just like me. No one else is taking responsibility for changing this, and I can't count on my husband (who has plenty of his own food issues), so I have to be the responsible adult who brings about positive change in the family. Hubby is embarrassingly fat next to other people we know, too. I'm sure he feels the same way about me.
Anyway, I want to achieve my best body ever by the time I'm 35. That includes a fifth and final pregnancy, so it's really not too long a time frame. People who don't know me consistently guess my age between 5-8 years younger than I actually am, so when I'm 35 I'll still look like I'm in my late twenties, especially if I'm smoking hot.
I set my goal of my 35th birthday because I always impose these time limits on myself when I embark on a diet and exercise program, and it becomes too strict, too much pressure, resulting in my being unable to stick to it. Then I give up, again, beat myself up mentally, and gain back all the weight and then some with destructive overeating. I think 35 is a realistic goal. I'm 32 and a half right now, so that's two and a half years to really make positive, lasting changes. Even considering a fifth pregnancy and recovery time, I should be vastly different from the way I am now. I don't care if other people think I could or should reach my goals in less time than that; a long-term goal is the way I need to approach this. Clearly the opposite has not worked for me yet.
My husband is also not the spiritual leader (or the leader, period) of our family the way he should be. I must pray for him to be changed in this way, and I can no longer sit around waiting for him to step up; I have to take responsibility for my children's spiritual upbringing. Their behavior shows a lack of consistent, biblical discipline in the home, and I cannot abide that. I must turn myself into my most spiritually mature self yet, since I'm doing this largely without the support of my husband, and trying to undo years of tacky parenting on both our parts. I must rise above, go beyond where I've been before, leave my old ways behind. Patience, perseverance, consistency, and biblical backup to all my parenting approaches, day in and day out, will result in the type of behavior I want to see from my kids. That and lots of prayer!
